I wasn’t kidding when I said this newsletter was going to focus on ‘the little things’. Your child’s finger and toenails are certainly ‘little’ things to worry about, in every sense of the word.
But that hasn’t stopped me repeatedly turning to Google whenever my son’s nails become talons that need to be wrapped inside mittens to prevent him scratching himself - or me (I often look like I’ve been mauled by a small but very vicious animal).
As a new parent there are so many important things you have to learn how to do, so it's little wonder that mastering mini manis never quite made it to the top of my list of questions for the health visitor.
To be honest, I was also a bit embarrassed about how difficult I found it. I thought cutting my son’s nails might get easier as he got bigger, but I hadn’t bargained on him also becoming more wriggly.
All of which led me to turn to other parents on Twitter for advice and I’m very glad I did, as I was inundated with useful tips and support.
“It's the worst,” said Alison Perry. “Only thing more traumatic is trying to remove a splinter from a toddler. We tend to distract with Peppa Pig and hope for the best.”
The advice I received tended to fall into three main camps:
1) Those who, like Alison, distracted their little ones with screen-time. Rosie Kinchen has even managed to use this technique to achieve the seemingly impossible: turning nail cutting sessions into “a weird treat”. “They now actually beg us to cut their nails,” she said.
2) Those who went primal, including Rebecca Schiller, who said: “I bit them off in desperation a few times. Worked surprisingly well.”
3) Or those who wait till their child is asleep, like Nina Malone, who said she had to do it “ninja style” and Katy Beale who added that when babies are really young their nails are soft so “you can also just peel them off”.
Other tips that were shared include:
“I put mine on my lap, facing outwards,” said Emily McNair. “The angle becomes more like clipping your own nails and it’s easier to hold on to them… Added bonus is that they get a cuddle so hopefully will be a bit calmer.”
“Clippers are infinitely easier than scissors,” said Lucille Whiting. “Warm the clippers up, or you might make him jump. I usually pop them in a cup of warm water, but if you have time to sit down for a bit, you can warm them up in your hands. It doesn't take long - my hands are just like icicles most of the time. I have a friend that used to pop them in her bra.”
Anna Wilk seconded the recommendation for clippers and added that the best time to tackle nails is: “after the feed when they are calm. Hold their hand firm (as opposed to single finger) with the left hand.” (Left-handers will need to hold their child’s hand with their right hand).
“Always cut less than you ordinarily would to avoid getting skin,” said Halima Bobs, who added that her daughter has eczema so it is especially important to keep her nails short to minimise the damage caused by scratching her skin. “It’s very scary but I promise it gets easier,” she said.
Rachel Sills suggested turning the whole thing into a game by “pretending to be a funny animal coming to nibble fingers, making daft noises, [or] telling a little story and including it in the actions.”
Or the easiest option of all: “Outdoor play will keep the nails short naturally,” said Charlotte Buchanan.
Doctor’s Orders
I also asked paediatrician Dr Sophie Niedermaier-Patramani what she would advise parents who are worried about cutting their children’s nails. Here’s what she said:
1) Cut them after a warm bath. It will make the nails softer and hence easier to cut. It is also a time when children are more relaxed and will hold still for longer.
2) Position them in a comfortable way. Try having them sit in your lap so they can have a cuddle. It will also make it easier for you to position their fingers in a comfortable way.
3) Sing a song with them. It will distract and relax them.
4) With older toddlers it can help to let them watch you cut your nails to let them see that it is not a painful experience.
So, there’s lots of things to try if you’re a nervous nail cutter. For the time being, I’ve found that I need to wait for my son to be asleep, but I hope to be able to use other distractions at some point - I don’t want to still be sneaking into his room to give him midnight manicures when he’s eight!
Little Loves
I’ve read my fair share of birth stories, both first-hand tales and expert advice. But when my own experience of giving birth didn’t go to plan, there was one book I was very glad I had read: Your No Guilt Pregnancy Plan: A revolutionary guide to pregnancy, birth and the weeks that follow, by Rebecca Schiller.
The Little Lowdown
Think your child is too young to start having conversations about race? Think again, as Ashley Ziegler explains in this article for Romper: “talking to toddlers about race isn't just possible, it's important... especially for parents who have the luxury of seeing this as a choice”.
Dope Black Mums have also put together an extensive list of resources suitable for facilitating such conversations with children of different ages. While you’re there, you should check out their podcast. They recently recorded an episode as “an emergency response to the systematic racism that exists in the UK as well as the US”. It is honest, angry and heartbreaking, but it is also full of warmth and hope. As they say: “we don’t have all the answers, but we know we have to start with some real talk, some discomfort - and each other”.
Want to get a little insight into what things are like in newly-reopened classrooms? Aasma Day’s report on HuffPost UK is fascinating. One headteacher said she was so anxious that she felt physically sick, while another teacher admits trying to get younger kids to socially distance is “a big challenge”, but adds that “they have been a lot better than I thought they would be”.
“I think we’ve all got a monster inside of us, and there are moments when we have to keep it under control but moments when we can’t.” David McKee, author of Not Now, Bernard, has written in The i about how he’s finding lockdown and why some libraries banned his classic children’s story.
I’m very sad to learn that new mums are missing out on their six week check up due to lockdown - this vital check on mums’ physical and mental health was only brought in earlier this year after campaigning by the NCT and now it is being postponed or conducted over the phone, which isn’t ideal as one mum told Rachel Moss and Jasmin Gray at HuffPost UK: “It’s very difficult when a doctor or midwife says over the phone: ‘Is everything feeling normal?’ because my honest answer is: ‘I don’t know.’ ”
About me
I’m Ellen Wallwork, a sleep-deprived mum-of-one, incessant worrier and freelance journalist. I’ve been writing about parenting for more years than I care to remember and previously launched the Parents section on HuffPost UK. Follow me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram (but be warned, I’m not a prolific poster).
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Disclaimer: This newsletter does not provide medical advice and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. The use of any information contained in this newsletter is solely at your own risk.