Finally being able to meet up with friends and family after months of isolation has been such a relief, but as a professional worrier I am duty bound to note that this joy has been tempered by a whole new set of little things to fret about - mostly relating to social distancing.
The new ‘1 metre plus’ rules have only added to my anxiety by making the guidance less clear. From 4 July people from two households will be able to meet up indoors, but Boris Johnson has said that this should be done with social distancing measures in place - which means that people who don’t live together are still advised not to get too close or hug.
Fighting your natural instinct to greet loved ones with a cuddle is hard enough when it’s just adults involved. But how on earth can you get your kids to keep their distance from friends and grandparents?
You could spend every social gathering barking ‘STAY BACK!’ But that is at best going to get grating very quickly, and at worst could frighten your children and make them view other people as a threat.
In search of a better option, I asked other parents how they’ve been tackling social distancing with their kids and it seems the key is to help them understand why it is necessary and - ideally - make it fun.
Gemma Birbeck says her 11-year-old son knows what COVID-19 is, but “can't comprehend why we can go to shops, but can't hug friends or family, or play together in the playground.” (A confusion many adults will relate to.)
She has found a clever way to help her son accept the social distancing rules. “I've used bonfires as an analogy,” she says. “Fires are beautiful to watch and we can feel the warmth of them from behind the barrier, but if we get too close we will get burnt.”
Kids are more altruistic than we give them credit for, so it can also help to explain that the reason we’re keeping our distance isn’t for our own protection, but because we need to look out for our loved ones.
Gráinne Stark has explained to her daughter that they “need to keep her grandparents safe so we can’t get too close… air hugs only.”
Once kids have understood why social distancing is necessary, the next step is to help them visualise 2 metres, as even in his new guidance Johnson said that "where it is possible to keep 2 metres apart, people should”.
“We got a tape measure and spent an afternoon with our seven-year-old noting distances around our home and garden, [that] gave her a better idea of what 2 metres looks like,” says Gráinne.
Having a visual guide really does help - in our garden we’ve worked out that four paving stones is equivalent to 2m. With that in mind, watching your distance becomes a bit like the ‘no stepping on the cracks’ game.
Which brings us on to the last piece of advice I received: for younger children it can really help to turn social distancing into a game.
“We've actually chosen not to see grandparents because we don't think our little boy would be able to stay away from his Grandad,” says Amy Downes. “But when my friend came round the other week, she played chase with him round the garden to keep him 2 metres away.”
Distance Learning
If you have a younger child who is feeling sad because they can’t hug their friends, you could read them While We Can’t Hug. In this new picture book by Eoin McLaughlin, two best friends, Tortoise and Hedgehog (adorably illustrated by Polly Dunbar), learn new ways to show each other they care while social distancing. You can watch a version of it in the video below.
If gaming is more your child’s thing, there’s a free online desktop game called Can You Save the World? - in which players must keep their distance from others on a busy street. The game play is quite simple, so it’s one for younger kids not Fortnite players, but it does get quite difficult as the number of people coughing and sneezing in the street increases.
Can You Help With A Little Thing?
An upcoming issue of The Little Things will focus on how to make putting suncream on your kids less of a battle. Do you have any advice to share? If so, you can let me know by replying to this email. Thank you 😊
Little Loves
No matter how many times we read this story, the SURPRISE at the end always delights my toddler. Plus, with so much detail in the illustrations, there’s lots to spot and count on every page of Happy Hatchday, the first story in the Dinosaur Juniors series by Rob Biddulph.
The Little Lowdown
There is “a drastic shortage of childcare places for mothers trying to come back from maternity leave. Many nurseries and childminders aren’t accepting new children, because they need extra space to allow for social distancing.” Gaby Hinsliff details the ways the lockdown is impacting mothers in this Guardian long read.
“One of the best ways to dial up sibling love is not to squash conflicts, but to learn how to use them.” Psychotherapist Heather Turgeon has written in the NYT about how to deal with sibling conflicts without your kids feeling like you’re picking sides or belittling their feelings. This is an old article, but it is full of really helpful advice.
“With a miscarriage, the baby hasn’t seen the world so the loss is almost brushed aside, treated as less than a baby. What is totally underestimated is the imprint that this baby has already made on the world of the mother.” Writing on LAPP, Bex Campbell explains why she set up a miscarriage support group on Facebook.
“I was ready to die just to be a mum.” On HuffPost UK, Nadine White’s in-depth exploration of the impact of sickle cell disease is a heartbreaking and illuminating read.
About Me
I’m Ellen Wallwork, a sleep-deprived mum-of-one, incessant worrier and freelance journalist. I’ve been writing about parenting for more years than I care to remember and previously launched the Parents section on HuffPost UK. Follow me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram (but be warned, I’m not a prolific poster).
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Disclaimer: This newsletter does not provide medical advice and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. The use of any information contained in this newsletter is solely at your own risk.