Has the start of school/nursery been a struggle?
September can be an emotional month - for parents as much as children.
If you’re a natural worrier, chances are the lead up to ‘back to school’ involved as many (if not more) sleepless nights for you as it did your children.
Whether your child is going to nursery or school for the first time, or is returning, September can be stressful – even if you’ve done everything you can to get them prepped in the run up.
With separation anxiety and emotions running high (and that’s before we even start thinking about how the kids are feeling), the first few days and weeks can be tough.
So how do other parents deal with back to school turmoil?
Allow more time for rest
“My top tip is to be prepared for VERY tired children,” says Kirsty Ketley, mum-of-two and founder of Auntie K’s childcare. “Starting school/nursery is a big emotional and physical thing and it really takes it out of children.”
She suggests limiting playdates and after school activities in the first half term and making sure children go to bed at a reasonable time. “In some cases this could well be 6pm,” she adds. “This helps by ensuring they don't get into the cycle of being overtired, which then leads to poor behaviour and emotional outbursts.” Plus, it gives you a bit of extra child-free time in the evening to recover.
Start the day on the right foot
Kirsty also recommends sticking to a consistent morning routine. “Often children are a little anxious until they are properly settled in, so having a good, predictable routine in the mornings will really help,” she explains. To free up a bit of time for chats in the morning, Kirsty advises having uniform put out the night before and packed lunches made in advance.
Morning Mantras
Sticking to a predictable morning routine can extend to always saying the same phrase to your kids before you pack them off for the day. Wendy Woo, mum-of-three and creator of My Mood Stars toys, has said the same thing to her kids every morning for years, knowing it helps them start their day with a smile:
“Before school, I'd ask each one: ‘Who is special?’
“They’d reply: ‘Meeee!’
“‘And who deserves a special day?’
“‘Meeee!’
“And I still say the same thing to them.”
Minimise surprises where you can
Kids face so many new situations each day at school or nursery, so to help prevent them feeling overwhelmed remove surprises where you can. “When packing their lunch, try to ensure they know what everything is and how to open any packets or cartons,” advises Laura House, education lead at tiney childcare.
Be a time keeper
Vanessa Gordon, mum-of-two and publisher of East End Taste magazine, says her daughter found starting school “was not easy at first”. “I literally had to sneak away and sometimes she would still be upset,” Vanessa explains. But she was able to help ease her daughter’s worries by letting her know exactly what time she would be back to pick her up.
“I always made it a point to be even earlier just in case,” she adds. “She was very particular about that and I had to make sure I lived up to my words, otherwise she would feel let down. As long as I arrived on time, she was happy.”
Help turn strangers into friends
Once your child is past the initial exhaustion, it can help for them to meet up with classmates outside of school, so they can debrief or just have time to bond away from the structures of school.
"Perhaps you can connect with other parents via social media groups or directly, and eventually meet up at the local playground or library," suggests Vanessa. "Never hesitate to reach out, most parents would be very up for these types of meet ups."
Can You Help With A Little Thing?
An upcoming issue of The Little Things will focus on how to deal with potty training regression. Have you found any little things that make coping with an increase in accidents less stressful? If so, please do let me know by replying to this email. Your advice could help make life easier for other mums and dads.
Little Lowdown
Shopping for new clothes for your kids? I asked 7 parents with great taste to recommend the best kids' T-shirts for The Strategist UK.
“Now other women won't be haunted by the labour ward.” The BBC reported on Louise Caldwell's victory in her campaign to stop women suffering miscarriages and stillbirths being treated in labour wards in Scotland.
“Don’t hang about at drop off.” Kirsty Ketley shared some more starting school advice in The Sun.
Mental health charity Young Minds has launched a new website with lots of helpful advice for parents.
Is your child displaying any of these 7 signs of reemergence anxiety? (You may even recognise a couple of these behaviours/feelings in yourself). Caroline Bologna sought out advice on how to deal with these issues for HuffPost Parents.
"The moral panic surrounding trans children and their families not only obscures the bullying and exclusion trans kids already face, but actively encourages it.” The Guardian ran a long read excerpt of Shon Faye’s new book The Transgender Issue.
Birthrights has a factsheet on the right to request a caesarean birth.
About Me
I’m Ellen Wallwork, a sleep-deprived mum-of-one, incessant worrier and freelance journalist. I’ve been writing about parenting for more years than I care to remember and previously launched the Parents section on HuffPost UK. Follow me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, (but be warned, I’m not a prolific poster).
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Disclaimer: This newsletter does not provide medical advice and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. The use of any information contained in this newsletter is solely at your own risk.
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