A defence plan for when your little nipper bites
Rest assured yours isn't the only toddler who gets vicious urges.
You smile as they run towards you, your arms outstretched in anticipation of a lovely toddler cuddle. It’s only then you notice that tell-tale glint in their eye, and before you can take defensive action your child lunges at you, mouth first… ready to bite.
It’s common for toddlers to go through a phase where they want to sink their teeth into anything and everything.
You know it won’t last forever and yet this knowledge offers little comfort when you’re fending off a small ball of gnashing jaws, or trying to work out a plan for the next time the biting impulse rears its ugly head at nursery or in the park.
So what can you do when your toddler has developed a taste for flesh? Here’s how parents have got through this phase (almost) unscathed:
Let them loose on an alternative victim
“If you don't allow biting it becomes more interesting - so one tip is to ‘redirect’ the biting - can the child bite an apple or a clean piece of plastic,” suggests psychologist Suzanne Hazelton, mum-of-one and founder of GenieBubble.org, free resources for parents with kids aged four to 11.
“I always acknowledge ‘oh you want to bite something... here, try this...’”
Catherine Ball found this technique worked with one of her four daughters.
“My eldest went through a bad biting stage as a tot, the thing that worked the best was giving her a teething toy and encouraging her to carry it around and bite it instead when she got the urge,” explains the parenting journalist. “Her nursery notes said: ‘Must have her Sophie Giraffe with her’.
“She once bit five children in one day at nursery! I used to be terrified to pick her up... Maybe this is why they call children ‘little nippers’.”
Keep calm and be kind in the face of ferocity
“When your toddler bites try to remove them from the situation calmly and swiftly rather than telling them ‘No’ or showing how annoyed you are (though it is frustrating),” advises Sarah Beeson, mum-of-one, former health visitor and author of parenting guide Happy Baby, Happy Family.
“If you think they’re about to bite, or have bitten, try distracting and diverting their attention with a book or a toy, or any object near to hand, or maybe a game like Peepo.
“You might feel under pressure to punish them if they’ve acted up in public, but this won’t help them or you in the long run.
“By being calm and consistent you’re doing your best to get through this phase, be kind to yourself and your toddler.”
Direct your attention to the victim
If your child has bitten another child, it’s a good idea to “ensure the victim is ok and give lots of cuddles and reassurance, or if they are not in your care make sure they are being looked after. Focusing your attention on the child who has been bitten will also reinforce the message that biting is not the way to get attention,” explains ‘Auntie K’, an early years practitioner and mum-of-two, who has written a post on her website about biting.
Help them understand they must not bite
“When they have bitten stay calm and remove the child from the situation. Firmly (not shouting) tell them that biting is wrong,” adds Auntie K.
“Show them that they have upset the other child but avoid lengthy explanations until your little one is old enough to understand.
“Once the biter has calmed down, talk about what has happened and suggest better ways to deal with their feelings. Encourage them to seek help from you or another grown up if they are finding things a bit tricky.
“Spending time talking about emotions and reading stories that include people showing different emotions will really help.”
Little Loves
Catherine is far from the only parent to find Sophie la Giraffe a godsend, (£11.69 at John Lewis). There is just something about this teether with its intense black eyes that draws babies in. One day, my son was ferociously chewing on his giraffe while out in his buggy when no fewer than three different toddlers exclaimed to their parents as they walked past ‘Look! Sophie!’ Such is her power.
Can You Help With A Little Thing?
An upcoming issue of The Little Things will focus on picky eaters. Have you found any ways to successfully get your child to try new foods? Or discovered a trick that helps you keep your cool when they refuse to eat a meal you've lovingly prepared? If so, please do let me know by replying to this email. By pooling our knowledge we can help other mums and dads.
Little Lowdown
There are lots of articles around at the moment about how to prepare kids for the return to school. Alongside worries about lessons and coronavirus testing, children may also be dealing with anxiety about their friendships. Psychologist Dr Melanie Smart offers practical advice on how to deal with that in this feature by Jill Foster on Yahoo.
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About Me
I’m Ellen Wallwork, a sleep-deprived mum-of-one, incessant worrier and freelance journalist. I’ve been writing about parenting for more years than I care to remember and previously launched the Parents section on HuffPost UK. Follow me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram (but be warned, I’m not a prolific poster).
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