How to avoid potty training pitfalls
Giving up nappies is tough - here's how other parents made it less stressful.
I didn’t expect potty training to be easy, but I also didn’t expect it to be quite as time consuming and tiring as it turned out to be.
Moving on from nappies is a steep learning curve – almost as much for parents as for children. (Although let’s not kid ourselves about who has it tougher, anyone who has seen a toddler’s early attempts to pull up their pants knows this is quite the developmental feat).
At first, parents need to develop an almost supernatural ability to predict just when their child will feel the call of nature. Being on high alert for potential accidents is frankly exhausting and it can be difficult to keep your patience when supplies of dry trousers are running low.
But it does get easier, which is why it can be reassuring to speak to parents who have weathered this storm and come out dry.
There is a lot of general potty training advice available online (as any other late night Googlers will be well aware), so rather than a step-by-step guide I thought it would be useful to find out the little things that made the process easier for other parents. Here’s what they had to say…
Don’t bow to pressure to start too soon
Some children may have started using the toilet before the age of two, and that’s wonderful for them and their families, but if your child is not yet ready, then forcing the matter will just lead to stress that could drag on for months.
Kirsty Ketley, mum-of-two and founder of Auntie K’s childcare, advises: “Focus less on their age and make sure they are actually ready - physically and emotionally.”
In an article on her childcare website, Kirsty explains that signs your child is ready to start potty training include: “having a dry nappy for long periods of time, your child telling you that they have done a wee or poo, or that they need to do one. Often a child will go off to a quiet spot for a poo and may pull at their nappy if they have had a wee.”
Clear your diary
Rhian Thompson, founder of Bibevie and mum-of-two, says her “top tip” is to: “clear your diary for a week, plan to do nothing but play with your kid and potty train”.
This doesn’t just mean taking time out from work and socialising, but also giving yourself a break from as many chores as possible. “Get in microwave meals or order takeaways for a week and just lean into it,” she suggests. “And accept you're going to be cleaning up some accidents.”
Little rewards can work wonders
“Bribes are a valid strategy,” says Josh Owen Morris, a PR who is soon to be a dad-of-three. “Early days, small sweets just for sitting there and big praise for ‘successes’, then bigger treats for longer intervals of dry pants – a special dessert for a day, a new toy car when they've managed it for a week, something bigger when it's been ages. And glossing over failures.”
Allow the ‘push’ to come from others
“The biggest mistake we made is push,” says Matt Zitron, dad-of-two. “It was my son wanting to be like his friends at nursery that was the big push. Forcing the issue will end badly.”
Take the pressure off
“We went slowly,” says Nell Block, assistant editor at Who What Wear, who is currently expecting her second baby. “No pressure on the kid (and none on you either). If they're ready, they're ready. Three-year-old was potty trained by two-and-a-half, but only now can pull pants up and down. I think key is going at your own pace.”
Don’t get hung up on ‘shoulds’
“If I ever feel myself getting in a tangle about ‘shoulds’ (or anything, really) with parenting, I always go back to Philippa Perry's The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read,” says Nell.
Can You Help With A Little Thing?
An upcoming issue of The Little Things will focus on separation anxiety. Has your child struggled with being apart from you? If so, what were the little things that helped you ease their nerves? Please do let me know by replying to this email. Your advice could help make life easier for other mums and dads.
Little Lowdown
Want to know what the most popular toys this Christmas will be? I spoke to trend forecasters to investigate this for The Strategist UK.
While we’re talking all things festive, I’ve also rounded up cute kids’ Christmas jumpers and advent calendars for Yahoo Life UK.
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About Me
I’m Ellen Wallwork, a sleep-deprived mum-of-one, incessant worrier and freelance journalist. I’ve been writing about parenting for more years than I care to remember and previously launched the Parents section on HuffPost UK. Follow me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, (but be warned, I’m not a prolific poster).
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